Coaching works?

August 5th, 2010

As a practitioner I am fascinated by the discipline of coaching. In training for my accreditation and in pursuing my own personal development I have experienced it to work for me. Does it work for others and does it work in a way that is measurable?

Interestingly Coaching has emerged from a synthesis of many fields including training, adult learning, consulting, change management, the human potential movement, and psychology and systems science. Each of these fields has their own models and approaches to coaching. The various schools of thought agree on little, except that “coaching works,” and that more of it should be done.

There is no widely accepted theoretical framework that explains why we need it, how it actually works and how to do it better. Much has been written but we are still in question.

I am a huge fan of Nancy Kline and her thinking environment approach. Her methodology is quizzically simple but provocative.  She is adamant, although her language would not be so fierce, that if you set up the right environment and give people the space and attention to think for themselves uninterrupted ( a crucial element!) great ideas emerge.  Nancy has identified 10 behaviours that comprise a system called the “thinking environment”.

 It is a model that dramatically improves the way people think and thus how they live and work. The ten components or behaviours include; Attention, Incisive Questions, Equality, Appreciation, Ease, Encouragement, Feelings, Information, Place and Diversity. This to me is an example of a form of non-directive coaching that I espouse and chose to follow.

Some people question how I can coach in a non-directive fashion, am I not employed for my experience and ideas? Not so and more importantly I believe coaching is not about me but about the brilliance of another. I do what I can to support my clients to think creatively for themselves without judgement.
I was heartened then to stumble across an article that was exploring a brain-based approach to coaching using neuroscience. It seems like this approach could support or give answers to my very approach to executive coaching.

First, every event that occurs in coaching is tied to activities in someone’s head. Second, a brain-based approach to coaching looks attractive when you think about it being tangible and physical.  It is interesting to be able to explain in scientific terms; why the brain needs coaches, but it is even more useful to know how coaching helps the brain improve its functioning.

This article was fascinating on so many levels! The author David Rock muses that change is hard but that the world needs change. He also opines that change requires more than just scant thought; it requires ongoing attention and a significant effort of will. There are several reasons why change is so hard, and they point to the need to provide additional resources to an individual who wants to successfully change in any way. Hence, brains need coaching.

According to the author there are many interesting and useful findings across neuroscience to help explain the value of coaching, but there are four main areas of scientific research that combine to form a central explanation of how coaching impacts the brain. These are the study of Attention, Reflection, Insight and Action, or ‘ARIA’ for short.
 

Attention, about which the author spends considerable time,  for the brain means “where you focus your attention you make connections” Jeff Swartz, Neuro Scientist, or what you focus on expands!

In scientific terms this is called the Quantum Zeno Effect. Where we choose to put our attention changes our brain and changes how we see and interact with the world. A very coaching concept but it would appear to be a very scientific one too.

On my own website for Lime Trees Road I claim that I support clients to be conscious and in choice. It would appear that giving and paying attention to a concern allows us to be more mindful and attentive to choice, free will if you wish.  Apparently, the brain allows us 0.2 seconds of free will to change our minds before we act on a thought already generated. Coaching can support  being  conscious of our thoughts and noticing more.

The other areas of the ARIA model include reflection, insight and action. David Rock explains that to solve competing dilemmas or issues on a personal or organisational level people need time to think, to reflect and to focus so that insights can percolate and swim to our levels of consciousness. Coaching supports these needs.

Nancy Kline has a methodology and David Rock has some scientific explanations to explain why “coaching works” both of which I love.

Becoming that which we are “not” in order to get what we really want in life!

June 24th, 2010

The title for this current blog came from a quote I stole from another post by my good friend Aboodi Shabi who is the European leader for the Newfield Network. He writes some very poetic and inspiring blogs for which I am grateful.

In his latest post he writes about the recent election in the UK and how he found himself confronted by his own prejustices in not wanting a right wing or left of right wing government. In the same breath he recognised the admiration he felt for two opposing parties able to compromise their entrenched positions to create a greater good and to be bigger than what they cared about. Aboodi inspired me to consider the notion of change and of compromise.

Recently I wrote about letting go and how difficult a phenomenon that can be for many of us. I also know that wanting difference but behaving in the same way is a slow grind towards insanity.

I have been reading the book Immunity to Change by Kegan and Lahey and am impressed by the rigour of their analysis and legitimacy of their approach. They contend that as humans we often want difference or change in our lives but because of some underlying assumptions we act out in ways that maintain our status quo.

In this book the authors provide a methodology for change. They suggest to the reader the need to rewire the nervous system and deliberately intervene with new practices or behaviours for sustainable change.

The first part requires deliberate noticing and observing of the behaviours that militate against our desire for change. Curiously in some encounters with clients the “one big thing” that would have the most impact on a person’s life was often suggested by a significant other.

The second step involves taking small steps at difference what the authors refer to as “research” by the client. They suggest behaviours that are conceivably small enough to not appear threatening and therefore not subject the nervous system to too much overload. They have several others recommendations but above all they insist on practice and recurrence.

This book reminded me of a coaching scenario I encountered recently. I was coaching someone who wanted to understand why she was rejected by her former employer and had no success with male relationships. She presented as fiercely independent and unwillingly to compromise her standards. We talked about her history and how her parents were very committed to success at all costs. It turns out she regarded all relationships as acquisitions and prizes rather than what they were human interactions about which compromise and growth are significant.

Her interpretation by her own admission was skewed and she decided to reframe her interpretation and look to herself to become more yielding, willing to compromise and even share in the growth of any burgeoning relationship. She decided to accept the fragility and humaneness of people and put herself in that frame as well.

In essence she was willing to become something for which she was “not” as a way of getting what she really wanted; love.

We often assume and invariably are taught that compromise is weak and for the weak willed. This supposition often brings suffering. Many strive to be right over happy or minimally still in conversation and connected.

I am struck by how frequently we as humans will stick to our guns or refuse to concede a point in an argument when what is really at risk is the relationship. Compromise does not have to mean giving in or relinquishing in the heat of the moment but rather taking care of what we care about, which for many of us as was the case with my coaching client, is all about love.

To be connected if only by way of a cultural discourse!

June 16th, 2010

It is simply delicious to mingle amongst the serious followers of James Joyce and Ulysses and marvel at the Edwardian Costumes they don for this auspicious occasion. Dublin was awash with revellers and extreme enthusiasts marking this annual fete.

Bloomsday is a commemoration observed annually on 16 June in Dublin and elsewhere to celebrate the life of Irish writer James Joyce and relive the events in his novel Ulysses, all of which took place on the same day in Dublin in 1904. The name derives from Leopold Bloom, the protagonist of Ulysses.

Thursday, 16 June 1904 was the date of Joyce’s first outing with his wife-to-be, Nora Barnacle, when they walked to the Dublin urban village of Ringsend. Hardly an urban village now more, like a modern adjunct of a thriving metropolis!

I didn’t appreciate that Mr. Joyce was partial to gorgonzola sandwiches which apparently are still served at Davy Byrnes the local hostelry that was his second home.

Walking the streets of Dublin today and passing Davy Byrne’s, the infamous pub that is ubiquitous and synonymous with the June 16th celebrations it is hard not to be touched by the gaiety and frivolity of the events being celebrated.

The day involves a range of cultural activities including Ulysses readings and dramatisations, pub crawls and general merriment, much of it hosted by the James Joyce Centre in North Great George’s Street. Enthusiasts retrace Bloom’s route around Dublin via landmarks such as Davy Byrnes pub. Hard-core devotees have even been known to hold marathon readings of the entire Ulysses novel, some lasting up to 36 hours

There is something special about being associated with this great luminary even if only by way of a cultural discourse we share. That connectedness was obvious on the streets and in cafes in Dublin today. I cannot profess to have read much of James Joyce’s writing much less the tomb that is Ulysses but I do appreciate the greatness of the man and the cultural legacy he has gifted all of us especially us Dublin folk walking his same streets.

Words cannot quite capture the sense this day imparts but the emotion is definitely pride. There is something quite decadent too about stepping back in time to relive his stories and the stories of that period and to simply bask in the literary genius that he was. One could almost touch him and yet…

Our moods often have us without our even knowing!

June 9th, 2010

The claim that our emotions are basic determinants of what we can and cannot achieve in the domains of work, learning, relationships, sociability, spirituality, etc, etc is pertinent and important for those who are frustrated by getting the same results despite trying harder.

Raphael Echeverria, Ph.D makes this claim in his seminal paper on moods and emotions, a paper disseminated by The Newfield Network as part of the course material provided for their coaching students. Raphael Echeverria was a founding member of the Newfield Network and President of its international network he was also a student of Fernando Flores the man credited with inventing the term ontological coaching.

When we speak about our emotional life we can draw a distinction between two kinds of phenomena-moods and emotions. Emotions are produced whenever we experience a change in the flow of life. They are associated with what Newfield terms as breakdowns- i.e. an interruption in the transparency of life. Emotion is a distinction we make in language to refer to changes in our space of possibilities due to given events. Emotions are bound to certain events and we can normally pinpoint events that triggered them.

Moods are a different distinction. They are not specific and we normally cannot attribute them to particular event. They live in the background from which we act. This is an important statement because for many of us they become so familiar that we do not recognise them for what they are or for the significance they play in perpetuating the kind of results we get in life.

Another important distinguishing feature of moods is that they define a range of possibilities from which we will act rather than manifesting a different ranges of possibilities as happens with emotions after a triggering event. The point is that no matter where we are in life we human beings are always in a mood. Once in a particular mood we become what that mood allows us to be. This can be perplexing and frustrating in equal measure.

Are we damned by the mood we live? To a certain extent yes unless we deliberately intervene to shift the mood space and become a different observer of moods.

We have to first observe, become conscious and pay attention to the clues the domains of the body and language provide to assess our prevailing mood. We can for example observe the mood a person is living simply by paying attention to their posture. There is no innocence on our physical posture and the relationship between the body and the realm of moods is very strong.

Similarly the connection between moods and conversations or language is also very telling. Indeed the biologist Humberto Maturana noted that a conversation is not just a linguistic phenomenon but is a combination of two basic components –language and emotions.

This relationship is critical in helping us intervene in the design of a new mood space. If emotions and moods are predispositions for action is it not important to understand the mood you are living to see if it supports the kind of action you want in life? Easier said than done and I attest to that, but it is possible.

I know that as a kid I was very astute in determining the mood my parents were living in order to get what I wanted or to defer telling them something that I knew would contribute to a worse reaction. How come this knowledge eludes us for acting or intervening in our own mood space? The problem is that moods are often transparent to us. We can be swept along in a particular mood and somehow begin to believe that it is just the way things are or a function of the things that are happening out there beyond our control.

Raphael Echeverria makes the claim that with moods there is room for design. One way to change our range of possibilities and therefore our mood is through conversations. In fact in his paper Echeverria contributes some very definite guidelines for re-shaping our moods. He suggests;
a) Become an observer of moods, can you become proficient in identifying between the moods of Resentment, Resignation, Ambition and Acceptance?
b) On a lighter note we are not responsible for the mood we find ourselves in but we are responsible for staying in that mood
c) Listen to the stories you tell about yourself or your world
d) Listen too for the assessment that goes with your mood, how are you assessing the world, people around you, yourself, and your future? These questions will help you specify the mood you are in.
e) Build repertoires or courses of action that you can take to prevent a mood from taking hold
f) Choose the company you keep
g) Get physical, change your body posture or do some exercise
h) Sometimes we may need to intervene at the level of our biology if the language suggestions above do not help

In writing this piece I found it instructive to help me think of the various ways I can support my own mood change and intervene at the level of conversation or with my body for effect.

We cannot avoid moods but it is easy to forget that we live them and they often have us!

What it is to be centered!

June 2nd, 2010

I have to declare that up until my learning with Newfield, the coach training company where I studied to become an ontological coach back in 2006, I had never understood or even heard of the concept to be centred or to be in centre.

Thanks to Newfield I now appreciate what this term means, I understand it but I still fall short in really experiencing it and embodying the practice of moving from centre.

Newfield embraces ontological coaching and as a result of that philosophical underpinning we spent a good proportion of the course experiencing the domain of the body. For many, myself included this is a wholly foreign territory but it serves as a good place to describe what it means to move from centre.

Our physiology or how the body codes and makes sense of the experiences it gets exposed to in life contributes to our having a plethora of triggered tendencies or reactions to events. This then gets transmuted into the language we then use to make sense of events which has a corresponding connection to the emotions and moods we then live.

We know intuitively that we cannot control everything that happens around us and the only control we can manifest is our reaction to events. Easier said than done!

Is being centered more of a physical state concerning center of gravity, natural posture and movement or is it also a state of mind made up of our philosophy, values, and spirituality? The human system is always searching for and trying to maintain homeostasis or balance. To be centered is to live in the immediate and ever changing balance of all these cooperating systems. Newfield would subscribe to that view and would urge congruence between the moods we live, the body we inhabit and the language we deploy from an authentic self.

The difficulty arises when we are presented with situations which we do not like or appreciate. We can be immediately pushed or pulled off centre, we are triggered. Being centered means to be balanced in this instant one hundred percent, taking in information without clouding it with expectations or fear. By taking in information and making creative, intuitive decisions informed by our “CENTER,” our true intent, our original self, we then actualize this intent through our decisions and our physical expressions. We complete the balance of centeredness by being responsible for our decisions and the actions we subsequently make.

As a novice and new to this notion I have experienced this condition, being in centre, when practicing yoga and lately in conversations with people where initially I was severely triggered. It is an immensely humbling experience and one where I imagine the emotion satisfaction is as good descriptor for the emotion that comes with being centred. It is very gratifying to think that you have spoken from a place of authenticity where your views are not coloured or tainted by immediate and sometimes obvious conditioned tendencies and that after the conversation you still feel whole.

I was similarly chuffed to hear my student’s remark in an essay they had to complete for me after a sales development programme I ran, that they would like to experience what is feels like to conduct sales meetings from a place of centeredness. They got the concept and more importantly the benefits of this heightened state and they are twenty years younger than me! Bravo.

If anyone has any further articles or comments to make on this concept or their experiences in achieving centeredness I would love to hear back.

Time Away!

May 19th, 2010

 

I have just returned from a week’s vacation in sunny Portugal. The heat and beauty of the tranquil setting we inhabited for seven days was sufficient to allow my mind to completely relax from the pressures and worries of building a business back at home. I found myself smiling and joking at the most mundane and inane things relaxed and comfortable in my own skin.

I have been feeling pressure lately to prove myself to myself. I have lost some of my and sparkle and joie de vivre. Everything I have looked at or entertained lately seems to have taken on a particular grey hue.  I was tired.

Getting away was perhaps a symbolic act for time out or time away from what I spend most of my energy doing on a daily basis and it spoke to me when so often I suggest the same to my clients for their weekly work regimes. Time out or time for reflection doesn’t get as much currency as I think it ought.

 I was recently facilitating three separate conversations with members of the same team and each group lamented the lack of time for reflection and space to re-engineer projects before delivery. Curiously they allowed time for learning after the completion of a project, which was commendable, but little time in project flow. It seems that inadvertently we contribute to our own overwhelm.

I am curious to know who ever invented the 40 hour work week (normally blown) and 48/50 week work effort on an annual basis.  It seems too much. Certainly after working almost continuously for six straight months now I am showing the need for more not less rest. Am I a lightweight? Do I not cut it anymore as an executive striving for success; have I lost it, whatever it is exactly?
I am minded to think of my own running schedule which encourages rest days and light days for recovery. Sensibly I stick to this regime knowing that despite myself I am less prone to injury, staleness and fatigue. I mind my performance and schedule in rest religiously. How come the same regime does not apply with respect to work?

For now I am simply responding to the demands being made of me and filling in the others hours of the day guilty as charged.  It seems that my work ethic does not script rest.

A shame or a luxury then that is takes the going away on a holiday to serve as a reminder of the need for rest and recovery.  R&R takes on a whole new reflection at least for me!

Letting go and surrendering in the moment

May 5th, 2010

 

Yesterday was a seminal day for me. I finally got closure on an issue I had been grappling with for more than 18 months. The choice to surrender and let go in the moment was excruciatingly difficult.  All of me was shouting to resist, fight on and get my story heard. I felt that in settling I was being muffled and made to feel small yet again!

The choice to fight on was appealing in that I was holding on to the attachment of winning and being right. The choice to make a deal and surrender in the moment was less appealing and seemingly more difficult because I was relinquishing control and or deciding for myself without relying on an external force or people to do the deciding for me.

It is amazing to me how helpful yet how difficult it is to let go. We hear the refrain all the time and it sounds so deliciously easy yet it is not. I think it is because the notion or action of letting go is inextricably linked to very definite psychological obstacles. From a psychological vantage point one explanation for the difficulty of letting go has to do with early life experiences around trust and faith. Trust and faith, it seems, are prerequisites to letting go and surrender.

There are strong correlations between the nature of one’s relationship with early authority figures and one’s present day capacity to trust or have faith in something greater than one’s self. With a less than healthy orientation towards authority figures we learn to rely on our own steely reserve. This however can prove detrimental and insufficient. At best it is one dimensional. In such cases, trusting that it is safe to let go of your perception of a situation, or your seeming sense of control, is understandably, very difficult.

Another element is the condition or conditional need for attachment.

The psychiatrist and author, David R. Hawkins, offers a powerful distinction, noting that we are not attached to the thing in question, but to attachment itself. What that means psychologically is that we are attached to the satisfaction of the resentment, the satisfaction of seemingly being in control, the satisfaction of our perceptions of ourselves and others.

 
So what is the upside in letting go and in surrendering if as this author subscribes there is a lot of satisfaction to be derived from being “in control”

This answer is purely personal but from yesterdays experience it seems that letting go yields a release of pain, a satisfaction that I took responsibility for my decision and I was not beholden to any external authority. I took what was in reality a tough choice but I made it all the same.

My choice now is not to beat myself over the ever vexing question “what if”
If I can manage that then I conclude I will have let go.

In commemoration of a world class managerial thinker: C. K Prahalad

April 28th, 2010

It is with regret that I heard of the death of C. K Prahalad on the 16th of April 2010. He was a formidable contributor to the thinking on Leadership and management. We are indepted to him for his work and passion around his chosen subject.

I had the pleasure of meeting C. K Prahalad back in 2004 when he spoke at the IMI conference in Killarney here in Ireland. In fact I bumped into him while he was being positioned for a photo opportunity for the Irish Times. I did hear him speak over the course of the conference and was wowed by his temerity, audacity and humility in speaking about leadership. I had read about him whilst I was I studying for an MBA at Trinity College Dublin in 2002. I was to read his many tombs on Leadership. I have my favourites, the HBR article he co-wrote with Gary Hamel, Core Competence and the Corporation, 1990 and later Competing for the Future 1994 again written with Gary Hamel.

I ate his words, literally,  and no doubt regurgitated or churned  out in some fashion his various thoughts and ideas for management; I wholly prescribed to his thinking.

 
Last week I wrote about unconditional responsibility and the need for it in our everyday and working lives. I also commented that assuming responsibility for our actions is not easy and that taking the victim role can be more enticing.

It is interesting to observe that every year for 33 years C. K Prahalad spoke to his MBA class about the importance of responsibility and such was his conviction that he did not change a single word in the text of his speech.
Some of his thoughts are included here for your digestion, re-written so as not to violate copyright.

• C. K Prahalad extolled his students to understand the importance of nonconformity. Leadership is about change, hope, and the future. Leaders have to venture into uncharted territory, so they must be able to handle intellectual solitude and ambiguity.
• He asked his students to display a commitment to learning and developing themselves. Leaders must invest in themselves. If you aren’t educated, you can’t help the uneducated; if you are sick, you can’t minister to the sick; if you are poor, you can’t help the poor.
•  He also asked that his students develop the ability to put personal performance in perspective. Over a long career, you will experience both success and failure. Humility in success and courage in failure are hallmarks of a good leader.
•  Equally he was quick to suggest that they be ready to invest in developing other people. Be unstinting in helping your colleagues realize their full potential.
• Learn to relate to those who are less fortunate. Good leaders are inclusive, even though that isn’t easy. Most societies have dealt with differences by avoiding or eliminating them; few assimilate those who aren’t like them.
• Be concerned about due process. People seek fairness—not favors. They want to be heard. They often don’t even mind if decisions don’t go their way as long as the process is fair and transparent.
• And of course the point I loved was this one; Assume responsibility for outcomes as well as for the processes and people you work with. How you achieve results will shape the kind of person you become.

There were many more sage comments in his paper that contributed to his view that Leadership is a responsible process not to be entered lightly or without due care. 
The responsible manager article was written in the Harvard Business Review in Jan/February of this year, 2010. C.K Prahalad was commenting on the much commentary being given to the debate on the roles and responsibilities of leaders and managers in the tsunami of the financial crisis we continue to witness since October 2008.  Essentially C.K Prahalad was reminding us once again of the need for responsibility and that we should be mindful of the values we espouse on a daily basis.

 
I cannot attempt to do justice to such a great thinker but simply say I am grateful for his contribution and respectful of his significant role in the realm of leadership.  His thoughts on responsibility are prescient.  Thank you C. K Prahalad.

Taking a victim position can be so soporific or hypnotic!

April 22nd, 2010

 

I am preparing some material for a workshop I am hosting in a couple of weeks related to personal responsibility and accountability. It struck me in writing my notes and in preparing my slides how insidious the victim stance really is. I am not surprised that people succumb to being the victim and blaming the circumstances they find themselves in a bid to protect their innocence rather than take the more challenging stance of the player.

I am using the archetypes Victim and Player as described by Fred Koffman in his book Conscious Business. He describes succinctly and tellingly the many reasons why people find it hard to behave with unconditional responsibility be it at work or at home. The chapter opens with a quote which I think is very apt.

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as either a blessing or a curse”     Don Juan, Yaqui Shaman

We are not conditioned or accustomed to owning up to our contribution to things. From childhood we protect ourselves from punishment or the withdrawal of privileges by extolling our innocence in events. “The milk spilt” or “It wasn’t me” are common refrains.

Koffman speaks about the difference between victim behaviour and player behaviour in his exposition of unconditional responsibility. He defines responsibility as our “ability” to respond to circumstances by putting ourselves into the equation not standing off from the circumstances. He is quick to acknowledge that it takes courage to adopt the player stance that is, someone willing to look at every situation as a place where he or she played a role in the outcome.

He is also quick to point out that adopting a player stance in life is not about getting what you want or succeeding. It is not some mumbo jumbo or omnipotent mindset that prevails but a considered approach that yields results in better relationships, damage limitation and ultimately a person’s integrity.

 
“Ability to respond does not mean ability to succeed. There is no guarantee that what you do will yield what you want. The guarantee is that as long as you are alive and conscious you can respond to your circumstances in pursuit of your happiness. This power to respond is a defining feature of humanity”
Behaving as a victim, blaming everything and everyone except yourself is enticing in that it protects your apparent innocence but it has an immediate cost, your power. You relinquish the power as described in the quote above.

Why is it then that people, myself included, find it so compelling to blame, find fault argue the conditions of our situation without first looking at our own contribution?  One answer as I have mentioned above is our need to look clean, innocent and above fault. We also wish to protect our self esteem.

Many of us depend on other people’s approval of us for our sense of achievement and ultimately our sense of happiness. We wish to remain blameless in the reality that is failure.  Our public persona is at stake or so we judge. We therefore expend a great deal of energy protecting an “untarnished self image” What we don’t see is that playing the victim we unwittingly sacrifice our ability to take control, we sacrifice our power, we are sidelined, marginalised and impotent.
Look around!  The victim archetype is very common, in business, the media with executives you respect, your colleagues and friends etc. We are all human after all.

Taking a player stance however is a legitimate move and I have been practicing it of late to remind myself of my power and the strength of this approach. Ask yourself the following questions to support your effort to remain a player.
1. What challenge did you face?
2. How did you contribute by acting or not acting to create this situation?
3. How did you respond to this challenge
4. Can you think of a more effective course of action you could have taken?
5. Could you have made some reasonable preparations to reduce the risk or impact of the situation?
6. Can you do something now to minimise or repair the damage?
7. What can you learn from this experience?
I have salvaged a relationship, coached two senior executives around this subject and have witnessed some interesting and rewarding reactions in my application of this approach. I encourage my readers to observe your reactions to situations and ask yourself how you are responding, as a victim or indeed as a player and how far can you go?
I do not pretend this approach is easy but I do acknowledge the wisdom inherent in its tenets. Try it!

Our common sense understanding of moods and emotions is patchy….

April 14th, 2010

 

Moods and emotions are a domain of the body that have garnered mixed reactions and afforded little attention especially by those who have prioritised rational thought over feelings. According to Raphael Echeverria they are not benign but inextricably part of our being and contribute significantly to those actions we are able to take in life.
To understand moods and emotions is to accept that they both play a significant role in the way we take action as a human race. They are inextricably linked to our linguistic maps and can keep us where we are if we do not pay attention to their grip.
Emotions are produced whenever we experience a change in the flow of life. They are associated with what we have called breakdowns  i.e., interruptions in the transparency of life. Whatever we do, we always do it within a given space of’ possibilities. If something happens that leads us to a different assessment of what it is we can expect in the future, we would call this a breakdown. A breakdown always implies a change in our space of possibilities.

Essentially I am saying that emotions are reactions to external events and as such determine the set of possibilities open to us from this emotional space. Loss evokes sadness and good news evokes joy etc…We do not have to linger in emotions they visit us.

Moods on the other hand are with us so to speak we live from a mood space. In an earlier blog I described the four big mood terrains, Resentment, Resignation, Acceptance and Ambition. Once in a particular mood, we become what that mood allows us to be. In this sense, we cannot only say that we have moods, it is also true that our moods have us.  We are possessed by our moods.

The good news is that we can alter the mood space we act from and design a more productive operating space. We have said that moods create a certain range of possibilities that alone we see are possible. The opportunity then is to explore the possibilities and have conversations to alter these. In many ways this is obvious but because moods have not been transparent it often eludes us that we can intervene and redesign a new mood.

Some guidelines for design;

1. Consider the conversations you are having and not having and be responsible for the mood you are inhabiting
2. Observe and identify the mood you preoccupy- Resentment, Resignation, Acceptance and Ambition- which one?
Consider these four questions
- What is my world view
- How am I assessing people around me?
- What assessments do I have of myself
- What assessments do I have about my future?
This should give an indication of which mood you are occupying.
3. Be aware of the stories that surround your mood and the stories that perpetuate the continuance of that mood.
4. You are not responsible for the mood you are in but you are responsible for staying in it.
5. Once you have examined these assessments try to ground them or any other linguistic act you can observe, i.e. declarations, assertions etc…A nuance to any of these can shift your mood or your ability to stay in it.
6. If you know you dwell in a recurrent mood build some repertoires to support yourself. Call a friend, take some physical exercise or avoid those conversations or places where the mood is likely to prevail.
7. Don’t forget your body if you change your physical posture you can shift your mood space.
8. We are always in a mood good or bad but it is helpful to know you can design ways to shift your mood.

Like most things reviewed in this blog space it calls for practice. Enjoy!